going puppy to puppy

A few months ago, my boyfriend’s then-roommate brought home a package of toilet paper intended for consumers with children of the potty-training age. On the TP, spaced five or six sheets apart, were puppies in various jungle scenes. The idea was simple: children were to follow the paw prints that separated the dogs until they reached a puppy. Once the child tore at the puppy, he or she would have acquired roughly five sheets of toilet paper, an amount the manufacturers declared average for one wipe.

We three (my boyfriend, his roommate, and I) took to the training-paper immediately. We were nearing the end of our undergraduate careers with no set plans for the future. There was so much we wanted to do; there was so little we knew how to do. We imagined potty-trainers and we envied them. How confident they must be! we thought, sure to find a guide dog at the end of those paw prints.

There are no toiletries to guide the recent graduate. Nor is there a standard amount of time between graduation and “what I want to do with my life.” More and more graduates are pursuing temporary careers, putting law school, etc. on hold. I am no exception. I plan, eventually, to enroll in a graduate program and get my Ph.D in Literature, but not quite yet. This blog will serve as a record of my time in the paw prints.

Jan 27

it is hard to take screenshots with paws



OK, so my cat has a facebook. It’s a little weird. I accept that. It was fun at first, tagging pictures of him and creating a profile based on Mao Zedong, but the whole endeavor has gotten a bit out of control. Apparently by creating a profile for my pet, I was tapping into this weird underground community of internet-using quadrupeds. Chairman MOW! gets more friend requests than I do, daily requests. Requests from the animal kingdom.



I feel the anxiety of suburban mothers watching that first 60 Minutes report on the horrors of Myspace. Creating a pet profile seems benign and well-adjusted when compared to linking these profiles. Perhaps I am old-fashioned and I should embrace this animal revolution, click confirm and add a personal message. Hello, Knut Der Wikinger! Nice to make your acquaintance. I see that you like eating and sleeping! It seems we have a lot in common. Perhaps I’ll nip round to Germany for a cat nap! It is a level of weird that intimidates even me. I have warned my cat against accepting these requests. “You don’t know who is on that other computer! It could be anyone! It might not even be a cat!”

This has become a little too absurd to continue.

Posted at 12:14am

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